It's true, I am a perfectionist. Most people who know me well would not be shocked by this declaration. I've always believed in the importance of doing my best and striving for excellence in everything I do. It wasn't until recently, while crying through the study of Ephesians in the Bible Core Course that I am doing, that the Lord showed me where this perfectionism stemmed from.
As a high school student, I was relentless in my studies. Not because I wanted to learn more or had a great hunger for knowledge, but because I was afraid of failure. Afraid that if I didn't get good grades, that somehow I wasn't good enough. The pressure I put on myself was insane. I would take ridiculous notes in every class and then go home and rewrite them until they looked perfect. On an assignment, quiz, or exam, if I didn't get a perfect score, I would cry and berate myself. Since the score wasn't perfect, somehow I wasn't perfect.